Where are all the time machines, PEOPLE?! Is it a huge government conspiracy? I hate all the governments of all the world for keeping this information from me! But don't worry, Department of Homeland Security! I'm not a terrorist! I'm a peaceful citizen peacefully vying for time machines so I can peacefully go back in time and prove that I turned out okay to all those people from high school! But I suppose that is what high school reunions are for... is preparing for a reunion like preparing for a formal dance? Do I have to go tanning? I sure hope not after the sun-poisoning tanning fiasco of 2000 and the kid who called me "burnt cheese" because of it...
Speaking of 2000, didn't you think we'd have time machines by then? We can SAVE THE WORLD MIRACULOUSLY from Y2K but we can't go back in time? RIDICULOUS. And for heaven's sake! It's 2013 already! Let's get a move on people. You best believe that the alien populations aren't standing by on this race-to-yesteryear like unto the Soviet/USA space race of yesteryear. I've seen Star Trek! I know what can happen! And aliens aside, I really need to go back and time and not say all those romantic things to my unrequited loves.
Which reminds me. I'm so in love with you.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Not again! Bleep you, NON-TIME-MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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