Can I just say I am so sick of all those people doing that thing that I hate?
You know the type. Just sitting there. Doing that thing. Doing it all over the place (not like "doing it" but like doing that annoying thing that I am failing to adequately describe).
I mean seriously, people. Do you know how stupid it makes you look? Do you know what horrible effect it will have on your social life/popularity/income potential/future children?
Here is what needs to happen. Everyone just STOP. Like right now. Like don't make me tell you again. I hope that everyone who keeps doing that thing has something really awful happen to them that is totally disproportionate to the amount of annoying they are spewing into the world.
DRAMATIC STATEMENT! ANGER RANT!
I feel so much better. Thanks for listening.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
TMI Post
Okay, so I'm really hesitant to share this but not hesitant enough to not put it all over the internets. You know that thing that is kind of embarrassing that people don't like to talk about but that sometimes you do talk about and it makes you more approachable and stuff? Or at least that is what you think will happen but then people feel bad for you to your face and do impressions of you when they are with their real friends?
That is me.
I know, you are shocked. I know you look up to me and know how wonderful I am and how does she do it all and she is like super-woman and stuff. But I'm human too! It's so hard to have no one to talk to about it so I thought I would share it here with my most intimate internet friends and non-intimate enemies and everyone else also.
But it's okay because it really has taught me lots about the meaning of life and how we all need to give ourselves motivational speeches and write inspirational quotes on our mirrors in the morning.
Shine your brightest!
Bloom where you're planted!
You're better than her!
You can (probably) do it!
If you can't do it, it was not meant to be!
It's not you, it's him!
You're not crazy!
That mole is probably not cancerous!
We can all do it and we will be the best we can be by reading everything on all the peoples blogs!
That is me.
I know, you are shocked. I know you look up to me and know how wonderful I am and how does she do it all and she is like super-woman and stuff. But I'm human too! It's so hard to have no one to talk to about it so I thought I would share it here with my most intimate internet friends and non-intimate enemies and everyone else also.
But it's okay because it really has taught me lots about the meaning of life and how we all need to give ourselves motivational speeches and write inspirational quotes on our mirrors in the morning.
Shine your brightest!
Bloom where you're planted!
You're better than her!
You can (probably) do it!
If you can't do it, it was not meant to be!
It's not you, it's him!
You're not crazy!
That mole is probably not cancerous!
We can all do it and we will be the best we can be by reading everything on all the peoples blogs!
New Restaurant Post
This place that I went is so good and so exclusive that none of you have ever heard of it so I'm not even going to condescend to your level by telling you what it is called.
BUT TRUST ME. It is the best ever and will be the best ever until other people find out about it and then I'm going to hate it and say "ugh, this used to be so much better. It's really gone down hill..."
So when I went there I ate all these things you have never heard of, or if you have heard of them, they were in really exclusive/unusual combinations, or "combos" as some of you amateur-pizza-eaters say... don't even get me started, people. But back to me. Or rather, back to food. So there was arugula and sugar cane and creamed corn and speculoos, which normally you might think would be gross but it was seriously so good because I was eating it in really dim lighting and didn't know what it was plus all these people were wearing thrift-shop clothes and/or dreads so I knew it HAD to be good even though it wasn't good at all.
Plus they had all this art done by professionals and/or kindergarten children but was kind of violent but not the violent where you're like "gross" but the kind of violent that makes you really think about how fragile life is and why not eat something strange, you know?
So everyone go there! And by that I mean no one go there. Because I'm never going to tell you about it because I don't want you to ruin it for me. What can I say? I'm a foodie!
BUT TRUST ME. It is the best ever and will be the best ever until other people find out about it and then I'm going to hate it and say "ugh, this used to be so much better. It's really gone down hill..."
So when I went there I ate all these things you have never heard of, or if you have heard of them, they were in really exclusive/unusual combinations, or "combos" as some of you amateur-pizza-eaters say... don't even get me started, people. But back to me. Or rather, back to food. So there was arugula and sugar cane and creamed corn and speculoos, which normally you might think would be gross but it was seriously so good because I was eating it in really dim lighting and didn't know what it was plus all these people were wearing thrift-shop clothes and/or dreads so I knew it HAD to be good even though it wasn't good at all.
Plus they had all this art done by professionals and/or kindergarten children but was kind of violent but not the violent where you're like "gross" but the kind of violent that makes you really think about how fragile life is and why not eat something strange, you know?
So everyone go there! And by that I mean no one go there. Because I'm never going to tell you about it because I don't want you to ruin it for me. What can I say? I'm a foodie!
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