So THIS post is about something I have really been wanting to get out there FOREVER. And it really doesn't do to talk to people in my regular, non-electronic life because I just don't get the same passive-aggressive rush of KNOWING that those I am writing about MIGHT read what I wrote (even though they won't - see above). Yes. It's time. Roommates. I mean COME ON.
So one of them is always waking me up by doing who knows what! I'm trying to sleep, girl! And she is soooo needy. And she always wants to be doing whatever I'm doing right when I am doing that thing. Have you heard of INDEPENDENCE! Not Independence Day - that is totally different! Independence like "all the women who independent, throw your hands up at me" and like I N D E P E N D E N T / Do You Know What That Mean Man / She Got Her Own House / She Got Her Own Car Two Jobs Work Hard / U A Bad Broad." Seriously. TAKE A HINT from pop music and start living your own life! You don't need me to follow around... even though imitation is the sincerest form of flattery or something it is super annoying.
Okay, so the SECOND roommate. Never cleans up after herself. And it 100% passive aggressive all the time on NOT BLOGS. IN REAL LIFE. Like, watch your back. I mean really. Some times she's be all like nice to your face because she wants something from you then SUDDENLY OUT OF THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE you see "the look." Like you know she is plotting against you. And then you look her in the eye and she give you that innocent "Puss-In-Boots-look." You know the one. SO TWO-FACED!!!
And lastly, the third roommate. Don't even get me started. He (yes, he, I'm super modern) is always eating my food. Like always. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FOOD! STOP EATING MINE! I really don't know that I can adequately describe this without showing you...
Like really. They are terrifying.
And to all my roommates - can you PLEASE just learn to use the toilet like a regular human being! I'm sick and tired of your anger pooping.
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